Daniel Handler

Writes novels.

  • The Basic Eight
    The Basic Eight is about
    a high school girl.
    a high school girl who
    bludgeons a boy.
    bludgeons a boy to death.
    bludgeons a boy to death
    with a croquet mallet.
    with a croquet mallet, because
    he does not return her affections.
    he does not return her affections, and is a comedy.
  • Watch Your Mouth
    Watch Your Mouth is about
    a young man.
    a young man who wonders
    if…
    if his lusty girlfriend’s family is incestuous.
    if his lusty girlfriend’s family is incestuous, or
    if…
    if he just has
    a dirty mind.
    a dirty mind,
    structured as an opera.
    structured as an opera and a twelve-step program.
  • Adverbs
    Adverbs
    is about love.
    is about love, and
    the wide-eyed.
    the
    wide-eyed and desperate people
    wide-eyed and
    desperate people partaking in it.
    desperate people partaking in it, and whether or not
    such participants…
    such
    participants—the nouns—
    participants—the nouns—matter
    as much as
    as much as the way it is done.
  • Why We Broke Up
    Why We Broke Up,
    is a long letter.
    winner of a Printz honor, is
    a long letter.
    a long letter from a girl in high school
    a long letter from a girl in high school to
    her ex-boyfriend.
    her ex-boyfriend, returning
    souvenirs.
    all the souvenirs of their relationship.
    all the souvenirs of their relationship, illustrated by artist Maira Kalman.
  • We Are Pirates
    We Are Pirates is about
    a teenage girl.
    a teenage girl who pulls together
    a ragtag crew.
    a ragtag crew to commit mayhem
    in the San Francisco Bay.
    in the San Francisco Bay, while her hapless father tries to get her home.
  • All the Dirty Parts
    All the Dirty Parts is a novel
    about a young man awash.
    about a young man awash
    in his own erotic drives.
    in his own erotic drives
    and the unceasing sexuality of modern culture.
    and the unceasing sexuality of modern culture
    falling.
    falling for a girl
    who pursues her own pleasure.
    who pursues her own pleasure as fiercely and ardently as he does.
  • Bottle Grove
    Bottle Grove is about
    two marriages.
    two marriages,
    one based on love.
    one based on love,
    and the other more of a long con.
    and the other more of a long con,
    in a rapidly changing San Francisco.
    in a rapidly changing San Francisco,
    fueled by handmade cocktails.
    fueled by handmade cocktails, and watched over by a
    fox.
    shapeshifting fox.
  • Poison for Breakfast
    Poison for Breakfast (forthcoming)

And not novels.

  • Weather, Weather
    Weather, Weather,
    the latest collaboration with renowned artist Maira Kalman.
    the latest collaboration with renowned artist Maira Kalman,
    explores the correlation between the anxieties of the natural world and the seasons.
    explores the correlation between the anxieties of the natural world and the seasons of our internal lives.
  • Girls Standing on Lawns
    Girls Standing on Lawns,
    inspired by found photographs,
    inspired by found photographs,
    is about girls
    is about girls standing on lawns
    is about girls standing on lawns and the verve and epiphany they display.
  • Hurry Up and Wait
    Hurry Up and Wait
    "a new picture book for kids and adults alike, is
    "a new picture book for kids and adults alike, is
    something of an anti-productivity manifesto
    something of an anti-productivity manifesto
    in this age of 'lifehacking' and addiction to busy-ness,"
    in this age of 'lifehacking' and addiction to busy-ness," says Fast Company.

Books for the Holidays.

Assorted and sundry.

  • Goldfish Ghost
    Goldfish Ghost
    is a picture book.
    is a picture book,
    illustrated by Lisa Brown.
    illustrated by Lisa Brown,
    about the ghost of a pet.
    about the ghost of a pet,
    born upside down in a fishbowl.
    who is looking for appropriate company.
  • The Bad Mood and The Stick
    The Bad Mood and The Stick
    is a picture book.
    is a picture book,
    illustrated by Matthew Forsythe.
    illustrated by Matthew Forsythe,
    about the unpredictable movements of a bad mood.
    about the unpredictable movements of a bad mood and
    a stick.
    a stick, because you never know what is going to happen.
  • Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid
  • The Composer Is Dead
  • 13 Words
  • The Dark
  • Swarm of Bees
    Swarm of Bees is
    a picture book.
    a picture book, illustrated by Rilla Alexander.
    a picture book, illustrated by Rilla Alexander about
    anger.
    anger and
    panic.
    panic and where such things might go.

And one as the Pope.

All while penning children’s books as Lemony Snicket.

  • A Series Of Unfortunate Events
    A Series Of Unfortunate Events
    • The Bad Beginning, The Reptile Room, The Wide Window, The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, The Ersatz Elevator, The Vile Village, The Hostile Hospital, The Carnivorous Carnival, The Slippery Slope, The Grim Grotto, The Penultimate Peril, The End [and] Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography, The Beatrice Letters
  • All the Wrong Questions
    All the Wrong Questions
    • Who Could That Be At This Hour?, When Did You See Her Last?, Shouldn’t You Be In School?, Why Is This Night Different from All Other Nights? [and] File Under: 13 Suspicious Incidents, 29 Myths On The Swinster Pharmacy